Should You Pay For Everything On The 1st Date?

Posted by Troy Valance
Well dressed couple on 1st date

To Pay or Not To Pay? That Is The Question! Here’s The Definitive Answer…

When many guys think ‘1st date with a woman’ – they often think:

    • Dinner at a fancy restaurant
    • Paying for everything

That’s how society has kinda conditioned us to believe ‘1st dates’ should be.

I dislike this ‘1st date model’ for several reasons:

    • It’s a ‘high pressure’ date (not easy to leave if it turns out you don’t gel with her)
    • If you pay, you risk her seeing you as a ‘bank account’
    • If you pay, you risk her seeing you as ‘trying to buy your way into her panties’
    • If you split the bill, you run the risk of her seeing you as not being a gentleman (or simply being tight)


    • If you don’t contribute to the bill at all? Well, she’s gonna run a mile

Geez. As you can see – the ‘payment issue’ on a dinner date isn’t easy to figure out!

So should you pay or not?

Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Let’s first discuss…

Where Should You Take Her On The 1st Date?

I actually think it’s best not to take her anywhere on the 1st date.

Yep, you read that correctly.

Don’t take her anywhere.

Don’t go out of your way to pick her up and drive her all over the place.

No, no, no – you don’t even know this woman yet! It’s just the 1st date.

Keep it simple.

Keep it low pressure.

Make it easy to ‘walk away’ if you don’t hit it off.


With all those thoughts in mind, that’s why I very much like the 1st date to take place in either:

  • A coffee shop


    • A quiet bar

Both are low pressure environments.

Both allow you to ‘walk away’ if you and the woman don’t turn out to be the next Romeo and Juliet.

And both can easily lead to a longer date if you like (just leave the coffee shop or bar and walk her immediately to another venue close by).

Trust me…

Women find is so much easier to say “YES” to meeting for a quick drink in a coffee shop or bar – than they do to some fancy restaurant date.

Because she’s got all the same concerns as you and more:

    • What if we don’t get along?
    • What if we run out of things to say?
    • What if it’s boring?


    • What shall I wear?
    • Do I need to pay?

See what I mean?

There are a million-and-one ways she can say “NO” if you offer to take her out for some fancy schmancy dinner on ‘date 1.’

Make it easy for her to say “YES”.

Quick drink at a coffee shop or bar.

Next question:

“Should You Pay for Coffee?”

So let’s imagine you’re in the coffee shop on the 1st date.

Should you pay for her or not?

Here’s my advice…

As the man, take the initiative and order the ‘first round.’

Say something like:

“I really love the Hot Chocolate they do in here. I’m going to have that and an Almond Croissant. What do you fancy?”

Then go order (and pay) for the both of you.

After you’ve drunk your Hot Chocolate and eaten your Croissant – and she’s devoured whatever she ordered – you might want another drink.

At this point you might say:

“Fancy another?”

She responds:

“Yeah let’s”

Then you playfully say:

“Your shout this time”

She laughs, goes to order and she PAYS.

See, in a coffee shop we’re only talking about a few bucks.

It doesn’t really matter who pays. YOU should definitely pay for the first round.

As for the second round – who cares?

Really. Who cares?

If you pay – that’s cool.

If you don’t – that’s also cool.

There are small advantages to both scenarios. But nothing SERIOUS.

Whereas – if you blow 300 bucks on her on that fancy dinner date – all kinds of bad things can happen.

So take her to a coffee shop (or quiet bar) on date 1.

Buy the first ‘round.’

Play it by ear after that.

Warning – DO NOT IGNORE:

All this talk of ‘1st dates’ is awesome.

And you now know where to take her and how to handle the ‘who pays?’ question.


To take a woman on a 1st date – you first have to MEET women and get them interested enough in you to want to go on a date!

The easiest way to meet women is to use Online Dating.

And the fastest way to get really good at online dating is to use my Online Dating Mastery program.

Click here to find out more

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